friendship

why is it so fragile? Our connection felt so real, and now there’s nothing but a growing distance between us. Again. I should be used to this by now, shouldn’t I? But no, it still hurts to be replaced. It’s fine. I’ll get over it. Like I always do.

my neighbour is driving me crazy.

STILL DRILLING AND BUZZING AND POUNDING AWAY FROM 9AM to 5PM EVERY SINGLE FRIGGING DAY. JESUS. I’m so fucking annoyed. Can’t watch the damn TV, can’t watch my videos even with my earpiece plugged in, can’t even hear myself THINK over all this NOISE. HOW LONG MORE WILL THIS CONTINUE!!! ARGH. My ears literally HURT from the noise (and no that’s not an exaggeration), especially when the pounding is taking place directly above my room.

SEP

So I got my acceptance offer today. Yay. But it was my fourth choice 😦 Damn it. Sweden, Denmark, Europe, why so competitive?!? They offered me a spot in a Canadian university. Which is great. But I REALLY really wanted one of the Scandinavian countries or the UK 😦

i’m so worried and scared.

My dog seems to be sick, again. This afternoon I noticed that her belly was a lot bigger and firmer than usual, whereas usually it’s flat and soft. And tonight, she didn’t finish her dinner – I’m not sure if she even ate a single bite. Which worries me so much because my dog is the greediest dog out there, she NEVER says no to food unless she’s seriously sick. All she did was drink water. And LOTS of water, which isn’t normal too.

I’m hoping tomorrow… she’ll be better, and won’t require a trip to the vet.

I remember the last time that my dog was seriously ill, which wasn’t all that long ago (only last year, in fact) she went days without eating. It started on Sunday night. I was in my hostel room at PGP and my mum lied to me via text telling me my dog was getting better. It was my sister who texted me on Wednesday night, a few minutes past midnight, telling me that she thought our dog was dying and that I should know.

I can’t even begin to describe how I felt then. I was just sitting there at my desk, crying at the thought of her being gone. So I went home the next day and brought my dog to the vet. Her treatment was super expensive, over $1000, but she recovered. Not overnight, it was a slow recovery. I remember the fear I felt. Fear I would lose her. And I know someday, this will be a reality. My dog isn’t young. She’s eleven, and that’s pretty old for a dog of her breed. And I just can’t imagine it. Life without her. Just THINKING about her being gone is enough to bring me to tears, I can’t imagine what I would do and how I would cope when she actually does leave me for good one day.

The last visit to the vet, when my dog was seriously ill, the vet did mention that it seemed like there were some problems with my dog’s liver, but that it would require even more diagnostic tests before she could conclude anything. By then my dog was back to her normal healthy self and my parents weren’t willing to spend more money for the tests. So we went home. And my dog’s been fine. Until now.

Now she seems to be sick again and I’m scared. Crying again because I’m weak and overly emotional. I always tend to think the worst.